{"id":39003,"date":"2016-01-26T08:43:26","date_gmt":"2016-01-26T14:43:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/?p=39003"},"modified":"2016-01-26T17:17:02","modified_gmt":"2016-01-26T23:17:02","slug":"things-are-getting-humpy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2016\/01\/26\/things-are-getting-humpy\/","title":{"rendered":"Things are getting Humpy"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_39004\" style=\"width: 210px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/HittingtheSpeedHump-cover.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-39004\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-39004\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-39004\" src=\"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/HittingtheSpeedHump-cover-210x300.jpg\" alt=\"Hitting the Speed Hump by Kris P. Kreme\" width=\"210\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/HittingtheSpeedHump-cover-210x300.jpg 210w, https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/HittingtheSpeedHump-cover-768x1099.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/HittingtheSpeedHump-cover-716x1024.jpg 716w, https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/HittingtheSpeedHump-cover.jpg 1400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 210px) 100vw, 210px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-39004\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Hitting the Speed Hump by Kris P. Kreme<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Verona Vincent despises that a portion of her private land is being taken for the creation of an access road to the new Wholesome Cove High School.<\/p>\n<p>Angry at the invasion of her peace and quiet, the best the judge can offer is a speed hump to keep things slow and hopefully quiet for anyone who travels near Ms. Vincent&#8217;s home.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately for those who travel Vincent Avenue, hitting the speed hump will cause them to take certain actions very fast and quite loudly&#8230; actions they otherwise never would have taken.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.smashwords.com\/books\/view\/610630\" target=\"_blank\">Find it on Smashwords now!<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/B01B3OIC9M\" target=\"_blank\">Now On Amazon!<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>In the small town of Wholesome Cove, progress has things not quite so wholesome, at least when it comes to the peace of mind their most famous citizen enjoys. Verona Vincent is a name no one can help but know, as the town was founded and funded by the Vincent family, generation after generation keeping the town on a path to a bright future.<\/p>\n<p>However the town has grown beyond a boundary Verona Vincent wasn&#8217;t prepared for and so when it is announced that the state will be taking a portion of her prized family land for an access road to provide travel to the new high school, Verona Vincent is in little less than a full uproar. Fighting and arguing like no other citizen could get away with before the judge, Ms. Vincent is adamant that they find another way, that they not ruin her privacy, her peace, and that in no uncertain terms, they not fuck with her land.<\/p>\n<p>When the judge refuses her complaints, explains that progress means the road is necessary, that emergency personnel need a better direct path through the forest to the new high school, fate is sealed, both for Verona Vincent&#8217;s land, and for the town her family gave the name to, Wholesome Cove. When the road finally opens a month later, anything but wholesome is about to happen to those who travel on Vincent Avenue.<\/p>\n<p>A put upon wife driving her husband and his son doesn&#8217;t realize just what she needs to shake off the frustrations of daily life. Only the speed hump midway along the curving road shakes her new reality into place, a reality where the always responsible and faithful Missy decides that if her husband and his kid are going to treat her like property, she might as well let them truly own her, and use her however they wish.<\/p>\n<p>When friends of Missy&#8217;s stepson Cory come along, they slow before even reaching the speed hump in the road, the humping taking place quite publicly more shaking than any hump in the pavement. Of course friends Gwen and Nathan are about to become much more, the car bumping up and down beyond the speed hump, Gwen deciding quite suddenly that she could definitely use a little bump of her own, and the best way to get it&#8230; naturally a little humping.<\/p>\n<p>Of course the next car to travel Vincent Avenue is quick to call in a report to Wholesome Cove PD, but is this anything the police can handle? By the books hardcore cop Ace and his lovely partner Morgan are about to find out, and before he think twice, Ace will see that his partner Morgan can handle things easily as hardcore as he can, more so in fact when they too pull up just over the speed hump.<\/p>\n<p>No one is wholesome in Wholesome Cove, especially those that travel Vincent Avenue. No one will be the same once they travel the private curvy road and find all new appreciation for curves of a different kind. Most of all, no one will ever get over Hitting the Speed Hump.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.smashwords.com\/books\/view\/610630\" target=\"_blank\">Find it on Smashwords now!<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/B01B3OIC9M\" target=\"_blank\">Now On Amazon!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Verona Vincent despises that a portion of her private land is being taken for the creation of an access road to the new Wholesome Cove High School. Angry at the invasion of her peace and quiet, the best the judge can offer is a speed hump to keep things slow and hopefully quiet for anyone &hellip; <\/p>\n<p><a class=\"more-link btn\" href=\"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2016\/01\/26\/things-are-getting-humpy\/\">Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":39004,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[63],"class_list":["post-39003","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tales-from-the-kreme","tag-tales-from-the-kreme","item-wrap"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/HittingtheSpeedHump-cover.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2iXk7-a95","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":48265,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2025\/10\/04\/theres-always-a-haunted-house-at-hallowkreme\/","url_meta":{"origin":39003,"position":0},"title":"There&#8217;s always a haunted house at HallowKreme","author":"Kris P. Kreme","date":"October 4, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Stan Gibson and Jarrett McKane are back with their most powerful mind and body altering camera yet, and this time they're featuring a notoriously haunted local building called Hump House due to the sexually perverse stories surrounding the activities there over the past hundred years or more. The local college\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"Fantastical Features","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/fantastical-features\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Hauntings of Hump House by Kris P. 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Kreme","date":"October 8, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"On an October trip away from the stresses of work and daily life, Kyle and Amber seek only a quiet place in the mountains to rekindle the passion of their young marriage, but they might get more passion than they ever expected thanks to an unintended pit stop in... the\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"HallowKreme","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/hallowkreme\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Tales from the Kremey Zone Halloween Whorer Episode by Kris P. Kreme","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/TalesfromtheKremeyZoneHalloweenWhorerEpisode-cover.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/TalesfromtheKremeyZoneHalloweenWhorerEpisode-cover.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/TalesfromtheKremeyZoneHalloweenWhorerEpisode-cover.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/TalesfromtheKremeyZoneHalloweenWhorerEpisode-cover.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/TalesfromtheKremeyZoneHalloweenWhorerEpisode-cover.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/TalesfromtheKremeyZoneHalloweenWhorerEpisode-cover.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":45505,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2023\/06\/25\/you-might-become-rooted-to-the-path\/","url_meta":{"origin":39003,"position":2},"title":"You might become rooted to the Path","author":"Kris P. Kreme","date":"June 25, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Daisy has been getting more and more agitated the entire thousand mile journey to some mysterious mountain in the middle of nowhere. Her brilliant boyfriend Vincent is wanting to prove some crackpot theory about plants and animals sharing a common DNA at some point in history, which has led him\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"Path-Illogical","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/path-illogical\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Path-illogical: Blooming Mad by Kris P. 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Kreme","date":"October 25, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Emily is a promising track star with a secret training ritual that may become so much more than mere training one day. Fear is the motivation, the idea of perceived danger inspiring her to run longer, stronger, and to be the success on the track she has become. She dresses\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"HallowKreme","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/hallowkreme\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Path-illogical Running Scared by Kris P. 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Kreme","date":"September 30, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Has the year seemed scary so far... then get ready for more scintillatingly sinful scares than your mind can handle! That's right, HallowKreme is back and BIGGER than ever! Fifteen brand new tales just won't do in a year like this, so look for SEVENTEEN brand new twisted kinky kooky\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"HallowKreme","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/hallowkreme\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"HallowKreme 2025 Ad","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/HallowKreme-2025Ad-162x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/HallowKreme-2025Ad-162x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/HallowKreme-2025Ad-162x300.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":45052,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2022\/11\/04\/grab-an-appetizer-before-the-kornucopia\/","url_meta":{"origin":39003,"position":5},"title":"Grab an appetizer before the Kornucopia","author":"Kris P. Kreme","date":"November 4, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Between the sweet candy indulgences of spooky HallowKreme and the soon to be quite stuffed Kornucopia meal of Thanksgiving, enjoy a tasty appetizer that reminds you to stay clear of the chaos, or you may just find yourself indulging in some SMUTty Public Displays. And then feast on the full\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"Grab Bag","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/grab-bag\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Grab Bag #65 - Public Displays & SINtendo Social Stats by Kris P. 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