{"id":39744,"date":"2016-06-09T08:56:44","date_gmt":"2016-06-09T13:56:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/?p=39744"},"modified":"2016-06-09T17:13:22","modified_gmt":"2016-06-09T22:13:22","slug":"readers-are-you-ready-to-be-drained","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2016\/06\/09\/readers-are-you-ready-to-be-drained\/","title":{"rendered":"Readers, are you ready to be Drained?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Brain<\/a>

Brain Drain Bullhorn by Kris P. Kreme<\/p><\/div>\n

It’s difficult dealing with an impending merger in the company, but handling her ditzy secretary can be too much.<\/p>\n

After a frustrating morning, Mary enters her office to find a package on her desk. No markings and with her secretary Elise having no clue where it came from, Mary opens it to find a Brain Drain Bullhorn.<\/p>\n

According to the instructions, it allows one to literally shout someone’s brains out, or their boobs bigger, or other equally bizarre things.<\/p>\n

Will Mary give in and use it on her already ditzy secretary and will she pay a price she isn’t prepared for?<\/p>\n

Find out in the loudest tale of Readers Choice Month.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Find it on Smashwords now!<\/a><\/p>\n

Now On Amazon!<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mary has always been a corporate boss worthy of the title Boss, but unfortunately in the company she works for, the CEO is no stranger to nepotism, forcing Mary to wrangle in quite possibly the stupidest bimbo of a secretary to ever enter the building.<\/p>\n

When that bimbo just happens to be his nineteen year old daughter, Elise, tensions are only higher since shouting and yelling about poor decisions as a secretary are just about the only method Mary has of getting through to the girl. Obviously firing her is off the table, and with a majorly crucial merger happening with the mysterious BD International, Mary needs this day to go off without a problem.<\/p>\n

Elise trying to run and get coffee while literally laying a phone off the hook with someone waiting on the line is stupid decision number one, but hustling back she literally runs right into her boss, dousing Mary with scalding coffee and definitely pushing her already tense nerves about the day ahead over the edge.<\/p>\n

Shouting, screaming, it just isn’t enough, but as the genuine dumb blonde Elise goes back to her desk, Mary is simply thankful to always be the smart one, carrying an extra blouse in her office for just such an unfortunate occasion.<\/p>\n

But what is the mystery package sitting on Mary’s desk? Elise doesn’t seem to know where it came from, not that Mary would give the idiot girl too much credit for remembering anything.<\/p>\n

Assuming the easiest way to find out is to open it, Mary does, and finds a fairly ordinary red and white bullhorn. Loaded with batteries and ready for use, the bullhorn is a very odd delivery to have ended up on Mary’s desk, but even odder are the labeled buttons on the back of the bullhorn, and the single instruction sheet doesn’t make them any less odd.<\/p>\n

According to the instructions, this is a Brain Drain Bullhorn, and it will among other functions allow the user of it to literally shout someone stupid. Of course the instructions claim a price, that pushing the button on the back of the bullhorn labeled Boobs for Brains will allow Mary to shout someone stupid, yet at the cost of constant boob growth herself. Additionally, there are functions such as Arousal for Boobs which will allow her to shout someone else’s boobs bigger but at the cost of increasing arousal for herself.<\/p>\n

The final two buttons she could press have even crazier functions, according to the clear joke of an instructional sheet, but Mary isn’t all that interested in the joke. What she is interested in is the simple fact that beyond all the nonsense, this is in fact a working bullhorn.<\/p>\n

When the already frustrated Mary calls out for Elise to phone down to the mail room and find out who sent this package up to her office, the fact her idiot secretary only mutters a faint “what?” forces Mary into a snap decision.<\/p>\n

Grabbing the bullhorn, pressing the button, she shouts as loud as she can at Elise. Instantly it’s quite obvious that however possible, this bullhorn does what that instruction sheet claims.<\/p>\n

Elise looks dumber already, staring with empty eyes, and Mary realizes her chest has just spontaneously swollen up. She may not know how it actually works, but Mary knows one thing, it’s definitely worth any price the instructions listed to finally get some real payback at the CEO’s idiot daughter, and soon enough Elise is most definitely a bimbo above all else.<\/p>\n

Will Mary’s hunger for revenge go just a bit too far? Will Elise be the most brainless bimbo Brain Drain ever encountered? And just who left the mystery package on Mary’s desk and why?<\/p>\n

Find out in the Brain Drain tale you’ll want to shout about to all your nubile friends, Brain Drain Bullhorn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Find it on Smashwords now!<\/a><\/p>\n

Now On Amazon!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s difficult dealing with an impending merger in the company, but handling her ditzy secretary can be too much. After a frustrating morning, Mary enters her office to find a package on her desk. No markings and with her secretary Elise having no clue where it came from, Mary opens it to find a Brain … <\/p>\n

Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":39745,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[91,43,4],"tags":[92,73,63],"class_list":["post-39744","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-readers-choice-2016","category-readers-choice-month","category-tales-from-the-kreme","tag-readers-choice-2016","tag-readers-choice-month","tag-tales-from-the-kreme","item-wrap"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/BrainDrainBullhorn-cover.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2iXk7-al2","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":37954,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2015\/06\/30\/readers-choice-2015-is-coming\/","url_meta":{"origin":39744,"position":0},"title":"Reader’s Choice 2015 is coming!","author":"Kris P. 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Kreme","date":"July 2, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Starting today, July 2nd, 2018! Fifteen new servings of Kreme as suggested by you Readers! Favorites return along with new surprises! Starting with a new SINtendo! A special 4th of July treat of Kreme! Brain Drain gets an update! The annual Reader's Choice begins in mere hours!","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"Reader's Choice 2018","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/readers-choice-2018\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Readers Choice Month 6","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/ReadersChoiceMonth6-promotionalAd.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/ReadersChoiceMonth6-promotionalAd.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/ReadersChoiceMonth6-promotionalAd.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/ReadersChoiceMonth6-promotionalAd.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":43279,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2020\/07\/18\/look-for-sales-readers\/","url_meta":{"origin":39744,"position":2},"title":"Look for sales Readers","author":"Kris P. Kreme","date":"July 18, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Mary's husband dumped her to run off with his secretary, but fortunately her daughter Molly has stepped in to build her back up and show her they don't need him. But after a day of pampering and shopping, they might both realize just the kind of man who needs Mary\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"Reader's Choice 2020","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/readers-choice-2020\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Liquidation by Kris P. 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Kreme","date":"August 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Reader's Choice Month has ended for 2013... Fifteen of the choicest tales of Kreme as requested by you, the Kreme's readers that voted for the stories that you wanted to see! The Kreme would like to thank his readers for making Reader's Choice Month what it turned out to be\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"Kremey Picture Goodness","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/kremey-picture-goodness\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Reader's Choice Month Covers by Kris P. 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You, the Kreme's readers have been voting for Reader's Choice stories. And now, July 2014, will be the second year of an entire month of Reader's Choice Tales! 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Kreme","date":"June 18, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"It's all dialogue and yet all action when a fresh new face arrives to serve as a temp replacement for a certain man's secretary. Jessica never expected to love her new job, but she also never expected the job to be done on her, particularly as her new boss introduces\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"Reader's Choice 2017","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/readers-choice-2017\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Temp Talking by Kris P. 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