{"id":42268,"date":"2019-01-26T20:14:52","date_gmt":"2019-01-27T02:14:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/?p=42268"},"modified":"2019-01-27T12:00:34","modified_gmt":"2019-01-27T18:00:34","slug":"you-start-rubbing-the-lamp-somewhere","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2019\/01\/26\/you-start-rubbing-the-lamp-somewhere\/","title":{"rendered":"You start rubbing the lamp somewhere"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"White<\/a>

White Wedding Rubs by Kris P. Kreme<\/p><\/div>\n

Before it was about Rubbing More than the Lamp, a certain ancient artifact was a quirky wedding gift from Brennan’s eccentric Aunt Mary May.<\/p>\n

Marrying a sweet girl named Kim, Brennan makes the mistake of wishing improvements to her big day. From wishing she’d never argue and get along with her pig of a stepfather, to wishing she’d fill out her wedding dress and be the bride of his dreams, every wish has a twist… and soon Kim will be doing twisted things no bride has done.<\/p>\n

But exactly what can her stepfather Chuck do with his own wishes to try and make up for Brennan’s careless ones? Are his intentions good or bad? And just how white can one wedding be?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Find it on Smashwords now!<\/a><\/p>\n

Now On Amazon!<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Over 15,000 Words of Kreme!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Long before the curator of a traveling world historical culture museum was sent an ancient bronze oil lamp, there came an entirely different series of twisted wishes. They all began on the day Brennan signed for the mysterious wedding gift from his eccentric Aunt Mary May.<\/p>\n

Brennan was definitely a guy who felt he’d been given more than he could wish for in life with a girl like Kim ready to say I do, and while he’d known the days leading up to the ceremony at a small church were most stressful for her, he never could have imagined making things worse himself.<\/p>\n

Aunt Mary May was always an odd one, and in her note with the carefully wrapped oil lamp, she said she thought of her favorite nephew on his big day, may the old lamp light his way to everything he ever wanted in his marriage. If only she’d have known that this particular oil lamp holds a genuine genie… one who certainly grants three wishes, even if those wishes may come true in ways never imagined.<\/p>\n

When an incidental rub reveals the truly magical nature of this gift, Brennan decides to play along even if he just can’t believe it could possibly be real. His sweet bride to be has been constantly arguing, stressing herself out, painfully fighting all day and night leading up to the big day because her stepfather Chuck is a complete chauvinist asshole. The man is a drunken loser most of the time, his most recent demands that he be allowed to walk her down the aisle even though he’s certainly not her daddy. So Brennan playing around with the gifted oil lamp the night before his wedding simply wishes Kim and Chuck would never argue and instead get along.<\/p>\n

How could Brennan ever suspect that not only does the wish come true, but suddenly across town, mid-argument, Kim finds herself incapable of disagreeing, actually going a lot further just to agree… to agree to everything Chuck wants and more than that, to do everything she can to get along with him in ways only a pig like Chuck can enjoy.<\/p>\n

No clue that his lovely bride to be is no longer mouthing off, but putting her mouth to better uses, Brennan has been taking the pre-wedding jitters off with a beer and the beer definitely gave him ideas for more wishes, wishing Kim filled out her wedding dress more fully and flawlessly than any bride ever… the bride of his dreams.<\/p>\n

Yet again, Brennan could never suspect that his dream bride of the moment happened to be the bride from a cheesy porno he saw many years before and at that very moment Kim is transforming into a truly pornographic version of herself.<\/p>\n

After a final wish that any cock in Kim would be inspired to limitless loads, filling her out to truly epic inflated proportions, Brennan is done for the night, and he’s also done with his three wishes… but the wedding is just beginning the following morning, everyone quite literally sobering up to what happened.<\/p>\n

Just what sort of bride will Brennan see when Chuck shows up with her and fesses up to something very weird happening in his drunken stupor from the night before? Just how will his future semi-father in law make it up to Brennan when they both realize the only way to fix everything is for Chuck to use three wishes?<\/p>\n

It’s a wedding that is definitely going to be white, in ways Kim never could have imagined, in ways Brennan and every man there will never forget, and always fantasize about… but just how many rubs will the blushing bride receive, and how will the old oil lamp eventually find its way into the hands of a curator named Caleb and his son?<\/p>\n

Find out in the epic prequel you never saw cumming… but definitely would have wished for. Before it was all about Rubbing More than the Lamp, there were some White Wedding Rubs to exchange a lot more than vows to.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Find it on Smashwords now!<\/a><\/p>\n

Now On Amazon!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Before it was about Rubbing More than the Lamp, a certain ancient artifact was a quirky wedding gift from Brennan’s eccentric Aunt Mary May. Marrying a sweet girl named Kim, Brennan makes the mistake of wishing improvements to her big day. From wishing she’d never argue and get along with her pig of a stepfather, … <\/p>\n

Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":42271,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[27,4,146],"tags":[68,63,147],"class_list":["post-42268","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kustom-kollection","category-tales-from-the-kreme","category-the-lamp","tag-kustom-kollection","tag-tales-from-the-kreme","tag-the-lamp","item-wrap"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/WhiteWeddingRubs-cover.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2iXk7-aZK","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":43895,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2021\/06\/16\/theres-only-one-lamp-to-rub\/","url_meta":{"origin":42268,"position":0},"title":"There’s only one Lamp to rub","author":"Kris P. Kreme","date":"June 16, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"The entire Lamp saga in one massive Kollection! Greg's a typical loner of a college student, spending most of his summers and spare time at home, but it isn't as though he has no interests... only that those interests happen to be a somewhat forbidden fascination with a petite Asian\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"Tales from the Kreme","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/tales-from-the-kreme\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Lamp - A Kreme Kollection by Kris P. 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Kreme","date":"August 8, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Greg's dad is a smart guy, the curator for a locally based traveling museum on world cultures. Of course Greg thinks the smartest move he made was marrying Courtney in recent years, a cute, shy, Asian Fascinated by Courtney, Greg is a homebody, spending his college summers around the house\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"Kustom Kollection","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/kustom-kollection\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Rubbing More than the Lamp by Kris P. 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Kreme","date":"March 11, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"All Harmony wanted was a happy marriage and a decent sex life with her husband. But everything got worse when they took in Cameron's twin brother Mason after he fell on hard times. Cameron and Mason never get along, arguing about everything. The tension and stress in what should be\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"Kustom Kollection","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/kustom-kollection\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Cumming Together in Harmony by Kris P. 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Kreme","date":"August 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Just released on Smashwords! The first Kustom Kreme Kollection of stories as kommissioned by two of his fans! Dream a little Kreme - Kustom Kollection #1 Two Kremey stories, with the return of one of the Kreme's finest offerings! \u00a0 These two twisted tales were custom requested by fans of\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"Kustom Kollection","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/kustom-kollection\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Dream a little Kreme - Kustom Kollection #1","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/KustomKremeKollection1a.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/KustomKremeKollection1a.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/KustomKremeKollection1a.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/KustomKremeKollection1a.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/KustomKremeKollection1a.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/KustomKremeKollection1a.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1144,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2012\/11\/05\/now-available-double-d-prints-kustom-kollection-4\/","url_meta":{"origin":42268,"position":4},"title":"Now Available! 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In Kreative Liberties, Rob has been living the good life ever since he discovered\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"Kustom Kollection","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/kustom-kollection\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Double D Prints - Kustom Kollection #4","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/KremeKamera-Kollection4.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/KremeKamera-Kollection4.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/KremeKamera-Kollection4.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/KremeKamera-Kollection4.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/KremeKamera-Kollection4.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/KremeKamera-Kollection4.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1379,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2012\/11\/29\/get-some-time-off-for-naughty-behavior-in-the-first-kreme-kustom-single\/","url_meta":{"origin":42268,"position":5},"title":"Get some Time off for Naughty Behavior in the first Kreme Kustom Single!","author":"Kris P. 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