{"id":44874,"date":"2022-09-02T18:15:12","date_gmt":"2022-09-02T23:15:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/?p=44874"},"modified":"2022-09-03T13:48:37","modified_gmt":"2022-09-03T18:48:37","slug":"sintendo-appreciates-classic-video-games","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2022\/09\/02\/sintendo-appreciates-classic-video-games\/","title":{"rendered":"SINtendo appreciates classic video games"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><div id=\"attachment_44875\" style=\"width: 210px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/SINtendoDonkeySchlong-cover.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-44875\" src=\"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/SINtendoDonkeySchlong-cover-210x300.jpg\" alt=\"SINtendo Donkey Schlong by Kris P. Kreme\" width=\"210\" height=\"300\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-44875\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/SINtendoDonkeySchlong-cover-210x300.jpg 210w, https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/SINtendoDonkeySchlong-cover-716x1024.jpg 716w, https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/SINtendoDonkeySchlong-cover-768x1099.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/SINtendoDonkeySchlong-cover-1074x1536.jpg 1074w, https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/SINtendoDonkeySchlong-cover-457x654.jpg 457w, https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/SINtendoDonkeySchlong-cover.jpg 1400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 210px) 100vw, 210px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-44875\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">SINtendo Donkey Schlong by Kris P. Kreme<\/p><\/div><br \/>\nBrianne would like her boyfriend to stop obsessing over hacked arcade games in the basement. What she gets is more attention than she can handle after finding him playing a depraved knockoff of Donkey Kong.<\/p>\n<p>While the gameplay is the same, the villain of this game is no ape. A giant freakishly endowed donkey has captured a girl and will do all sorts of insidious things to that girl as Duncan levels up, trying to reach the final level where he can defeat Donkey Schlong once and for all.<\/p>\n<p>But will winning this game bring Duncan closer to Brianne than either ever imagined? And will her wish for him to focus on her more come back to haunt her when he has his own donkey sized schlong?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.smashwords.com\/books\/view\/1164074\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Find it on Smashwords now!<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/B0BCZ99V6J\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Now On Amazon!<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>On a nice cool day when the seasons are finally seeming ready to start changing, Brianne is well aware of the glaring fact she and her boyfriend Duncan are not outside enjoying that weather, socializing with their friends or doing anything remotely as a couple. And it&#8217;s all thanks to his stupid obsession for playing old arcade games in the basement of their rental home.<\/p>\n<p>Where Brianne had thought that moving into a rental home together with him was the first step in a natural road towards marriage and a family, Duncan clearly was more attracted to the basement, a place he did the bare minimum to in order to have a fun place to play hacked arcade games when he wasn&#8217;t working from home.<\/p>\n<p>At first Brianne had thought it a cute hobby, going down to find Duncan on the computer playing a game she used to remember, but then he became less and less attentive, more and more lost in his own little arcade gaming world&#8230; and so today she is confronting him, hearing the stupid little music of whatever his latest obsession is.<\/p>\n<p>But when Brianne walks in to find Duncan playing what looks like some pornographic knockoff of Donkey Kong, she just about loses all cool. Ranting, complaining, shouting at Duncan, she can&#8217;t believe the crude animations of the donkey character at the top of the screen, a captured girl waiting to be rescued while repeatedly assaulted or smacked or many other things with that donkey&#8217;s freakishly large dick.<\/p>\n<p>Duncan hardly cares about the knockoff aspect of the game, saying he&#8217;d been looking around for a truly challenging version of Donkey Kong, and all the others were either too easy or very glitchy. All he knows is that this game has pretty much the exact same gameplay, and is extremely challenging. <\/p>\n<p>Begging him to stop playing something that almost seems to promote bestiality, Brianne has about as much luck reaching her gaming obsessed boyfriend as she usually does, and soon she&#8217;s just reluctantly waiting as he tries to reach the final level where Duncan can pull the pegs, collapse the floors, and finally win Donkey Schlong.<\/p>\n<p>But just who is the mystery company that made this knockoff game he found and downloaded? The guy he said posted it only mentioned something called SINtendo, and Brianne snarkily agrees it&#8217;s definitely a sin against classic gaming the cheesy crude and just plain wrong version they put out&#8230; but since neither of them have ever heard of SINtendo, could they possibly imagine what happens if Duncan actually manages to defeat Donkey Schlong?<\/p>\n<p>Brianne just wanted her boyfriend to focus on her for a change, to do something with her, but can she possibly be prepared for the rather beastly change his winning the game will bring to their relationship?<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s SINtendo September&#8230; and it begins with a classic finally brought into the world of SINtendo. It may not have a giant ape, but there&#8217;s sure to be plenty of monkeying around for Duncan and Brianne!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.smashwords.com\/books\/view\/1164074\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Find it on Smashwords now!<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/B0BCZ99V6J\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Now On Amazon!<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Up next&#8230; You&#8217;re getting&#8230; Sleepy&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Brianne would like her boyfriend to stop obsessing over hacked arcade games in the basement. What she gets is more attention than she can handle after finding him playing a depraved knockoff of Donkey Kong. While the gameplay is the same, the villain of this game is no ape. A giant freakishly endowed donkey has &hellip; <\/p>\n<p><a class=\"more-link btn\" href=\"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2022\/09\/02\/sintendo-appreciates-classic-video-games\/\">Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":44875,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[130,116,238,4],"tags":[40,117,239,63],"class_list":["post-44874","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sintendo","category-sintendo-september","category-sintendo-september-2022","category-tales-from-the-kreme","tag-sintendo","tag-sintendo-september","tag-sintendo-september-2022","tag-tales-from-the-kreme","item-wrap"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/SINtendoDonkeySchlong-cover.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2iXk7-bFM","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":44861,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2022\/08\/31\/september-means-sintendo-returns\/","url_meta":{"origin":44874,"position":0},"title":"September means SINtendo returns","author":"Kris P. Kreme","date":"August 31, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"This September get more than just your A game on, get your T&A game on with SINtendo! Ten brand new tales will explore everything from twisted takes on classic games to SINister mysteries and marital mayhem. There are tales of self-inflicted gaming gone wrong, literal mind-numbing frustration, cruel corruption, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"SINtendo","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/sintendo\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"SINtendo September 2022 Promo AD 2","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-2022PromoAD2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-2022PromoAD2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-2022PromoAD2.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-2022PromoAD2.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-2022PromoAD2.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-2022PromoAD2.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":42665,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2019\/09\/01\/its-almost-time-for-sintendo-september\/","url_meta":{"origin":44874,"position":1},"title":"It&#8217;s almost time for SINtendo September!","author":"Kris P. Kreme","date":"September 1, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"It's time to ask some very important questions about SINtendo... \u00a0 Why does SINtendo never advertise their games? How do they deal with the competition? What are the safety settings on a SINtendo system? ...and who do you call if a game just isn't as fun as it should have\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"SINtendo","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/sintendo\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"SINtendoSeptember-Ad","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-Ad.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-Ad.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-Ad.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-Ad.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":41922,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2018\/09\/01\/sin10do-september-begins-with-a-grab-bag\/","url_meta":{"origin":44874,"position":2},"title":"SIN10do September begins with a Grab Bag","author":"Kris P. Kreme","date":"September 1, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"As Summer ends and Fall begins, it\u2019s time to play some last minute games. What better company to assist in those games than SINtendo with a double dose Grab Bag during SINtendo September? First up, it\u2019s a serious warning of a tale, sharing the dangers of playing SINtendo Whee YOO.\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"Grab Bag","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/grab-bag\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Grab Bag #30 - SINtendo Whee YOO & SINtendo DLS by Kris P. Kreme","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/TheGrabBag30-cover.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/TheGrabBag30-cover.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/TheGrabBag30-cover.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/TheGrabBag30-cover.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/TheGrabBag30-cover.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/TheGrabBag30-cover.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":46637,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2024\/08\/31\/its-almost-september-so-that-means-a-month-of-sintendo\/","url_meta":{"origin":44874,"position":3},"title":"It&#8217;s almost September so that means a month of SINtendo","author":"Kris P. Kreme","date":"August 31, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"This September, it's time to once again get your game on, readers. But this year for the first time ever that game may not end as quickly. For the first time, SinTENdo September has more than TEN reasons to push all the right buttons. Look for ten brand new SINtendo\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"SINtendo","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/sintendo\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"SINtendo September 2024 Promo Ad","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-2024PromoAD.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-2024PromoAD.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-2024PromoAD.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-2024PromoAD.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-2024PromoAD.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":48111,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2025\/08\/31\/its-almost-sintendo-september-2025\/","url_meta":{"origin":44874,"position":4},"title":"It&#8217;s almost SINtendo September 2025!","author":"Kris P. Kreme","date":"August 31, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Are you ready for SINtendo September? Are you excited about TEN brand new twisted tales of gaming all month long? Well then get ready to be horribly disappointed! There's unfortunately NOT ten tales... there's FIFTEEN tales! That's right readers, for the first time ever, SINtendo heads into bonus levels with\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"SINtendo September 2025","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/sintendo-september-2025\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"SINtendo September Promo AD","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-2025PromoAD.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-2025PromoAD.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-2025PromoAD.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-2025PromoAD.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/SINtendoSeptember-2025PromoAD.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":48232,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2025\/09\/27\/sintendo-takes-reviews-seriously\/","url_meta":{"origin":44874,"position":5},"title":"SINtendo takes reviews seriously","author":"Kris P. Kreme","date":"September 27, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"After Bethany writes a brutal review of an upcoming SINtendo game too perverse to even publish the title of, she comes into work and finds that Grady, her boss, has been in a long meeting with two men in suits representing SINtendo. And while she wants to believe he would\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"SINtendo","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/sintendo\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"SINtendo This Game BLOWS! by Kris P. 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