{"id":47017,"date":"2024-12-24T19:14:13","date_gmt":"2024-12-25T01:14:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/?p=47017"},"modified":"2024-12-25T13:46:54","modified_gmt":"2024-12-25T19:46:54","slug":"theres-a-special-item-on-a-shelf-for-krismas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2024\/12\/24\/theres-a-special-item-on-a-shelf-for-krismas\/","title":{"rendered":"There’s a special item on a shelf for Krismas"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Elf<\/a>

Elf on a Shelf Perverse Perspectives by Kris P. Kreme<\/p><\/div>\n

While his wife Hannah prepares things in the kitchen for a nice Christmas meal, Hank is gleefully positioning his Elf on a Shelf in what he thinks is the best location ever.<\/p>\n

But when old buddy Howie arrives, he points out that Hank has placed it way too high, not even on a shelf, but a beam over the living room. As Howie tries explaining, there are rules about where to place an Elf on a Shelf.<\/p>\n

Will Howie’s concerns that a poorly positioned elf can bring bad luck or affect people’s minds be realized when Hank and Hannah’s college daughter Hayley arrives? Will all who stand under it ultimately give in to their basest most depraved urges and desires?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Find it on Smashwords now!<\/a><\/p>\n

Now On Amazon!<\/a><\/p>\n

Over 7,000 Words of Kreme!<\/p>\n

At Hank and Hannah’s home, the couple is busying themselves inside while outside a fierce winter storm rolls along. In the kitchen, Hannah cooks and prepares for a nice Christmas dinner with their daughter Hayley, and Hank’s oldest friend and practically family Howie. But Hank may just be doing something that will forever corrupt each and every one of them… putting up the Elf on a Shelf!<\/p>\n

That’s right, as Howie quickly points out upon arriving, shaking his head concerned, there are very specific superstitions about the proper placement of an Elf on a Shelf… and Hank is pushing things too far by attaching his elf to a crossbeam high overhead in his vaulted living room.<\/p>\n

Dismissing the silly ideas and superstitions, Hank is chuckling and letting Howie help him get the ladder back to the garage, all while Howie discusses the dangers of positioning an Elf on a Shelf too high.<\/p>\n

According to the old family friend, there are rules about where to place the elf, good luck or bad luck resulting. He even claims he had a friend once who put his own elf too high one year. That year his wife left him, the Christmas tree caught on fire, and his daughter turned up pregnant.<\/p>\n

Yet as silly and overly worried as Howie is being about the elf, Hank likes his spot, a cleverly creative spot, the beam basically like a shelf, towering way above the living room, the elf perched to look down into it.<\/p>\n

Soon Hank, Hannah, and Howiw are sipping wines and waiting in the kitchen for Hayley to arrive, her drive from college likely snarled and delayed by the weather and the interstate. Sure enough when she arrives, they are calling out and saying hello, but only Howie sees the moment she walks beneath that Elf on a Shelf, curiously looking up at it, and seeming to get sillier and stranger in her increasingly crazed expression.<\/p>\n

From their perspective at the kitchen table, Hannah and Hank can’t quite see her, eventually asking Howie if she is still there. And that is when Howie realizes the true dangers of elf placement… stepping under it to make sure cute coed Hayley is okay… only to be snared firmly within the perverse perspective himself.<\/p>\n

And so as old family friend and their daughter less than half his age grin horny grins and head to her bedroom to have some fun, Hank and Hannah never know the danger awaiting them in the living room, a danger only warned by a creepy little red felt elf peering down from such a strange position.<\/p>\n

Will Howie give Hayley the perverted horny requests she makes and make a real mess out of her body? Will Hank get the gift of dominating and doing his wife like he always wanted? And will none of them ever escape the Elf on a Shelf Perverse Perspectives? Find out as The 12 Days of Krismas continues!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Find it on Smashwords now!<\/a><\/p>\n

Now On Amazon!<\/a><\/p>\n

Coming Next… There’s a fight on Krismas…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

While his wife Hannah prepares things in the kitchen for a nice Christmas meal, Hank is gleefully positioning his Elf on a Shelf in what he thinks is the best location ever. But when old buddy Howie arrives, he points out that Hank has placed it way too high, not even on a shelf, but … <\/p>\n

Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":47018,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[295,4],"tags":[296,63],"class_list":["post-47017","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-12-days-of-krismas-2024","category-tales-from-the-kreme","tag-12-days-of-krismas-2024","tag-tales-from-the-kreme","item-wrap"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/ElfonaShelfPerversePerspectives-cover.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2iXk7-cel","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":46928,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2024\/11\/29\/its-just-about-time-for-krismas\/","url_meta":{"origin":47017,"position":0},"title":"It’s just about time for Krismas!","author":"Kris P. Kreme","date":"November 29, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Not everything shrivels in the cold, as this year the 12 Days of Krismas has gotten BIGGER than ever! More than just 12 new books, more than mere words, and more of everything you'd love to unwrap under the tree this year! With 14 new books, and 150,000 words of\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"12 Days of Krismas 2024","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/12-days-of-krismas-2024\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"12 Days of Krismas 2024","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/12DaysofKrismas2024-Promo.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/12DaysofKrismas2024-Promo.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/12DaysofKrismas2024-Promo.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/12DaysofKrismas2024-Promo.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/12DaysofKrismas2024-Promo.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/12DaysofKrismas2024-Promo.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":42226,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2018\/12\/30\/this-elf-was-too-naughty\/","url_meta":{"origin":47017,"position":1},"title":"This elf was too naughty…","author":"Kris P. Kreme","date":"December 30, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"This Krismas there was one cover which was a bit too naughty for Amazon and Smashwords... But the elf appears here for Readers to enjoy!","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"12 Days of Krismas 2018","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/12-days-of-krismas-2018\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Naughty Elves and the Naughty Streak Uncensored Cover","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/TheNaughtyElvesandtheNaughtyStreak-uncensoredcover.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/TheNaughtyElvesandtheNaughtyStreak-uncensoredcover.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/TheNaughtyElvesandtheNaughtyStreak-uncensoredcover.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/TheNaughtyElvesandtheNaughtyStreak-uncensoredcover.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/TheNaughtyElvesandtheNaughtyStreak-uncensoredcover.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/TheNaughtyElvesandtheNaughtyStreak-uncensoredcover.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":45913,"url":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/2023\/12\/30\/its-been-10-years-of-krismas\/","url_meta":{"origin":47017,"position":2},"title":"It’s been 10 years of Krismas","author":"Kris P. Kreme","date":"December 30, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Ten years ago, the holiday tradition of the Kreme celebrating Krismas began. On this milestone, a collection of those first three works bundled together for the first time! Until January 10, 2024 - 50% off at Smashwords with code CU24B Over 27,000 Words of Krismas Kreme! Holiday Handling: Independent trucker\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"Khristmas with the Kreme","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/khristmas-with-the-kreme\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Krismas with the Kreme: A Collection of the Very First Krismas Tales by Kris P. 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Kreme","date":"December 31, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Christmas time brings out the best in everyone\u2026 but what about the worst of those out there? For Earl, the perverted spoiled son of a mall owner playing elf for the mall Santa, he never imagined some real elves would change his luck with women forever. And for Ned, a\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"Grab Bag","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/grab-bag\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Grab Bag #42 - Go Elf Yourself & Cloaked in Christmas Spirit by Kris P. 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Kreme","date":"December 8, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"On the third day of Krismas, Nora discovers the cost of eating Santa's cookies and milk. A hardworking mother, Nora is getting home very late, her children already in bed, having left a cute note out proclaiming the plate of cookies and the glass of milk For Santa. But when\u2026","rel":"","context":"","block_context":{"text":"12 Days of Krismas 2021","link":"https:\/\/www.talesfromthekreme.com\/tales\/category\/12-days-of-krismas-2021\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Cookie Nookie by Kris P. 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