Nov 17 2013

Never take things too Literally

Literally by Kris P. Kreme

Literally by Kris P. Kreme

A near disaster too silly to imagine above earth’s atmosphere leaves the air pungent with the strange odor from exploded Literal Bombs, weapons that create chaos by making what is spoken come true… Literally. Now people all over one area of earth will find common expressions, metaphors, insults, and even what they read out loud coming true in only the most perverse way possible.

This is one growing problem that will only grow… Literally.


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Uranus is about to feel the heat. Yes, Plutonians weren’t the only extraterrestrials in the solar system whose antics on earth will have lasting impressions for a long time to come; now a close encounter with a shuttle from Uranus’ only space program will leave the men and women of earth twisted and controlled by their own words… Literally.

After a near disastrous crash into earth, Latsyrhc of the Buttholia Uranus Mission manages to avoid the worst and avoid a fate of being stranded forever on the rather simple planet below. Unfortunately his method of pulling up and out from the atmosphere is by dumping some cargo which includes some decommissioned Literal Bombs, weapons no longer safe to use due to the unusual side effects they can cause.

Dismissing the danger of these bombs, assuming they will simply burn up in the atmosphere, Latsyrhc decides to avoid all the hassle that reporting this incident might involve and continues on his way back towards Uranus. Of course things in one small region of earth below might never be the same.

Outside the town of Cottonwood, some shooting stars have given way to a strange odor in the air, a slightly smokish haze which no one who breathes in will ever imagine just how strongly it will change their lives.

The Literal Bombs did not completely burn up and true to their name they make everything one says come true in a much more “literal” sense. People speak in metaphors all the time but when for instance one woman gets a flat tire and realizes she won’t be making the important meeting she has in the morning, her simple exclamation of “I’m totally fucked” starts the chaos that will soon follow.

From her to a loving couple engaging in some passionate sex where ‘getting ones brains fucked out’ will take on entirely new literal meaning, the drifting remnants of the Literal Bombs float unsuspectingly across the area.

Soon enough, everything from insults to poetic turns of phrases are becoming true, Literally, and this is one ‘growing’ problem no one is prepared for.

Get ready for one of the most comedic and twisted tales you’ll ever read, a Klassic from the Kreme bound to create a few laughs and a few fantasies you never even knew you had.


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Now on Amazon!