SINtendo Dick the Halls by Kris P. Kreme
For years, Leah’s favorite holiday tradition has been finding an expensive weird Christmas-themed video game and buying it with her bratty little brother’s savings. He’s been a troll to her and her sister Laura, so they gleefully enjoy the tradition, literally at his expense.
But this year, the game she found and paid extra for at a pawn shop, is a quirky game called SINtendo Dick the Halls, the goal fighting total dicks who want to spoil Christmas.
But when those dicks turn out to be actual animated penis monsters, and Leah can’t beat the game, she may lose a lot more in the process. Decorated hallways seem to somehow turn Leah on, and she can’t stop herself from giving pleasure to others.
eah is on the phone with her older sister Laura, who is asking when she is going to come home for their traditional family Christmas gathering. But Leah might be bringing home a gift no one expected after she plays a kinky little holiday video game called SINtendo Dick the Halls.
It’s a tradition for a number of years now, ever since Laura and Leah’s bratty little troll of a brother lost a bet about girls being any good at playing video games.
Ever since then, each year Leah uses access to his savings account to buy herself a holiday themed video game. She doesn’t even usually care what the game is about only how much it costs. It’s her own little ongoing revenge against the troll also known as Jimmy.
But this year according to Laura, her own husband Hunter is actually trying to be friends with Jimmy, treating the troll like he is human and his heart might grow three sizes or something. And with their mom cooking constantly and their dad decorating everywhere way more than he has ever decorated before, Laura just needs someone else there, so Leah is planning to leave her apartment and head over… just as soon as she plays the latest revenge game, something called SINtendo Dick the Halls that she found at a pawn shop.
All Leah really knows about the game before starting it is that the goal is to save Christmas from being ruined by some dicks. But the game is a lot less quirky and innocent than she assumed because after starting the game up, Leah reads about how the wonderful magical world of Christmas in the game is being assaulted by quote… Monster Dicks.
Told she has to satisfy those Monster Dicks or else fail, Leah is staring at the pixelated representations of penis monsters waddling the festive looking halls in the game while some jazzy version of Deck the Halls plays repeatedly on a rather mind numbing loop.
As good as Leah usually is at even the strangest little games, the difficulty of Dick the Halls seems impossible and before too long she has lost so many times there are no repeats available, and that is when Leah is shockingly informed, by name, from the screen that she has lost and will forever suffer the fate of falling prey to monster dicks in decorated hallways.
Ignoring the weirdness of it somehow knowing her name, Leah has bigger things to worry about, like getting home in time for the no-doubt huge dinner her mother is cooking with Laura’s help. Yet in the decorated hall outside the elevator in her apartment building, Leah will quickly find herself offering her neighbor a VERY Merry Christmas, right there on her knees.
She will offer her landlord such a better form of rent payment than ever before, and even once she makes it home, Leah will run into her sister’s husband in a decorated hall… pushing him into the bedroom he and Laura are staying in, having quite the enjoyable time, all while listening to that jazzy rendition of Deck the Halls in her clearly messed up mind.
This Krismas, sometimes when you lose a videogame, everyone else wins and there’s just nothing that can be done about it.
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