Double-Stuffed Kreme: Stretching the Truth by Kris P. Kreme
Every Double-Stuffed Kreme is twice as nice for just one price!
At the park with his hot girlfriend Melissa, Michael is more interested in looking at her than his own health goals. But after an encounter with a street magician calling himself the great Kosmo, Melissa may try less proper stretching before their jog and more the improper stretching her boyfriend could only ever dream about.
Then, at a block party thrown by her parents, classic cut-up comedic girl Daphne shows up claiming to her friends and everyone that she was just cursed by a gypsy at work because they didn’t have Twinkies. Is this another hilarious prolonged bit… or are Daphne’s thumbs cursed to corrupt her, mind and body?
Double-Stuffed Kreme continues with two more brand new Tales from the Kreme, and whether you are literally stretching for a morning jog in the park with your boyfriend, or quite likely stretching the truth to be funny at a neighborhood block party… prepare to have your mind stretched into all new perverted places.
First up, for what feels like the hundredth time, sexy fit Melissa has dragged her boyfriend Michael to the park in the morning for a nice long healthy jog together. But their healthy jog may turn into a rather healthy appetite for kinky sex after encountering one of the growing number of panhandlers and peddlers in the park.
Pushing past the sales pitch of the man asking for them to give to the needy, right past the woman asking them to send meals to needy countries, Melissa is more focused on prepping for their jog, and of course offering snarky responses to Michael’s more intense focus on how hot his girlfriend looks. That is when a third panhandler and quite possibly exactly who he says he is pops out from behind a tree.
The great Kosmo, with a K, declares himself a mentalist who can read every thought and perform mentalist mystically magical feats… but Melissa is done dealing with these crazy annoying idiots, so she angrily walks off, Michael shrugging as he does the same.
But when during their usual warm-up stretches moments later, Michael makes yet another perverse comment about the way his girlfriend’s breasts hang as she bends over to stretch, why is Melissa suddenly entertaining the suggestions behind those comments?
Why is she doing some very Improper Stretches just as Michael teases she should do? And why are those stretches getting more and more extreme and well-beyond publicly depraved in a park where anyone can see her? Has she gone crazy, is she finally giving Michael the kinky girlfriend he fantasized her as, or is the great Kosmo with a K stretching the boundaries of his own mentalist feats?
But wait… there’s more!
Next up, everyone in the neighborhood knows and loves the block parties hosted at the perfect home on the street… the home of Julie and Malcolm who always are every bit the entertaining hosts as their daughter Daphne is just entertaining. Whether it’s a running gag, or a clearly planned out comedic little bit, Daphne is a girl with a reputation for fun.
But when Daphne’s friends waiting for her at the setup of another block party at her parent’s house see Daphne come careening in, driving a bit more reckless than her usual way, and she parks, getting out rather frantically… Daphne may soon have a very different and rather lasting reputation.
Nearly breathless and putting on a wide-eyed amusingly scared expression, Daphne runs up and tells her friends she got cursed by a gypsy at work. It’s just the kind of hilarious story Daphne is prone to tell, especially for one of her ongoing comedic little bits she is known for.
With her three closest friends cracking up, already amused, Daphne isn’t having much luck convincing them that this is anything but another truth-stretching bit of hilarity that will make her the life of the party as usual.
Claiming an old gypsy woman came into the convenience store she works at, Daphne says the woman wanted Twinkies and they didn’t have any, so she cursed her!
It’s as silly as Daphne is, so why would anyone believe her, especially when she is claiming she can feel the curse taking control of her thumbs. And as her friends are already cracking up laughing, that is when Daphne gestures with her thumbs to herself and says Who has two thumbs and just became a mindless slut?
If her friends weren’t laughing hard enough before, they are really falling down laughing at Daphne saying such a ridiculous thing, especially so committed to the bit.
Yet Daphne insists she can feel the curse making her thumbs control her, control everything, and while her parents dismiss it as Daphne being silly Daphne, even they aren’t that wild about the mindless slut part of the gag. So Daphne is more and more frustrated, her three friends wanting to see where she goes with this joke.
But after amusing her friends with increasingly silly antics all while continuing the story of the gypsy woman with a craving for Twinkies, will Daphne make statements about herself being even sluttier with the two guys in her small group of friends? And will those statements instantly come true proving that in fact she was not stretching the truth this time… only stretching her soon to be cream-filled body… becoming a sort of Twinkie herself?
Find out in the silliest short story ever, just one of two featured brand new Tales from the Kreme in this issue of Double-Stuffed Kreme!
The next serving…Travel Tales
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