SINtendo appreciates classic video games

SINtendo Donkey Schlong by Kris P. Kreme

SINtendo Donkey Schlong by Kris P. Kreme

Brianne would like her boyfriend to stop obsessing over hacked arcade games in the basement. What she gets is more attention than she can handle after finding him playing a depraved knockoff of Donkey Kong.

While the gameplay is the same, the villain of this game is no ape. A giant freakishly endowed donkey has captured a girl and will do all sorts of insidious things to that girl as Duncan levels up, trying to reach the final level where he can defeat Donkey Schlong once and for all.

But will winning this game bring Duncan closer to Brianne than either ever imagined? And will her wish for him to focus on her more come back to haunt her when he has his own donkey sized schlong?


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On a nice cool day when the seasons are finally seeming ready to start changing, Brianne is well aware of the glaring fact she and her boyfriend Duncan are not outside enjoying that weather, socializing with their friends or doing anything remotely as a couple. And it’s all thanks to his stupid obsession for playing old arcade games in the basement of their rental home.

Where Brianne had thought that moving into a rental home together with him was the first step in a natural road towards marriage and a family, Duncan clearly was more attracted to the basement, a place he did the bare minimum to in order to have a fun place to play hacked arcade games when he wasn’t working from home.

At first Brianne had thought it a cute hobby, going down to find Duncan on the computer playing a game she used to remember, but then he became less and less attentive, more and more lost in his own little arcade gaming world… and so today she is confronting him, hearing the stupid little music of whatever his latest obsession is.

But when Brianne walks in to find Duncan playing what looks like some pornographic knockoff of Donkey Kong, she just about loses all cool. Ranting, complaining, shouting at Duncan, she can’t believe the crude animations of the donkey character at the top of the screen, a captured girl waiting to be rescued while repeatedly assaulted or smacked or many other things with that donkey’s freakishly large dick.

Duncan hardly cares about the knockoff aspect of the game, saying he’d been looking around for a truly challenging version of Donkey Kong, and all the others were either too easy or very glitchy. All he knows is that this game has pretty much the exact same gameplay, and is extremely challenging.

Begging him to stop playing something that almost seems to promote bestiality, Brianne has about as much luck reaching her gaming obsessed boyfriend as she usually does, and soon she’s just reluctantly waiting as he tries to reach the final level where Duncan can pull the pegs, collapse the floors, and finally win Donkey Schlong.

But just who is the mystery company that made this knockoff game he found and downloaded? The guy he said posted it only mentioned something called SINtendo, and Brianne snarkily agrees it’s definitely a sin against classic gaming the cheesy crude and just plain wrong version they put out… but since neither of them have ever heard of SINtendo, could they possibly imagine what happens if Duncan actually manages to defeat Donkey Schlong?

Brianne just wanted her boyfriend to focus on her for a change, to do something with her, but can she possibly be prepared for the rather beastly change his winning the game will bring to their relationship?

It’s SINtendo September… and it begins with a classic finally brought into the world of SINtendo. It may not have a giant ape, but there’s sure to be plenty of monkeying around for Duncan and Brianne!


Find it on Smashwords now!


Now On Amazon!


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