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Brain Drain: The Refund Policy by Kris P. Kreme

Brain Drain: The Refund Policy by Kris P. Kreme

Going by Ash, Ashley resents having a girl’s name, but after taking a site called Brain Drain Buying as a joke, purchasing a lot of stuff for his girlfriend Vicky, he may end up with more than just the name.

Desperate to shop with zero cash or credit to his name, Ash finds what he thinks has to be a joke of Christmas shopping site. The gifts are incredible, but the prices are weird, prices like one-hundred percent of his masculinity, percentages of muscle mass, or even the growth of breasts. But when he confirms payment, waiting for the joke, his roommate may get the last laugh.

Will they be able to figure out the refund policy, or is Ashley truly screwed this Christmas?


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Ash has often overreacted to nearly every little frustration and annoyance. His roommate Bobby can definitely agree with that much, but this Christmas he might finally be right to worry that he truly is screwed.

Ash has gotten used to Bobby kidding him about having a girl’s name, Ashley, but after Ash completely forgets to buy his girlfriend Vicky Christmas presents and resorts to desperate measures on a sketchy looking website, he may just have much more than a girl’s name.

Trying to just chill out and play video games, Bobby rarely has time for Ash’s overreactions, finding amusement in the many troubles Ash gets himself into. The latest seems to be that Ash spent all the money he has on other things, and doesn’t even have credit cards to get Vicky any presents, everything maxed out until he gets paid, which happens to be after Christmas. But when Bobby suggests looking around online for one of countless buy now and pay later special options to get what he wants for Vicky, neither could ever imagine the crazy site he’ll find himself on.

After desperately searching site after site, Ash is finding nothing that simply lets him pay later, at least not without a credit check he knows he won’t pass. He’s nearly to the point of giving up when a targeted popup ad appears offering supposedly just what he needs, a last-minute gift source that accepts alternative forms of payment.

Clicking through, Ash finds himself on Brain Drain Buying, a retail site that takes more than mere cash or credit. Everything listed is available for what the site calls Brain Drain Bucks, but just what are Brain Drain Bucks, and will Ash regret not taking them seriously when he soon uses them?

Adding various sexy and pretty items perfect for his girlfriend Vicky to his cart, Ash is so confused by the total he is shown on the screen of his laptop. Told the purchase will cost him one-hundred percent of his masculinity, permanent loss of inhibitions and morals, seventy-five percent reduction in muscle mass, a sixty percent increase in breast tissue, and a whopping three-hundred percent rise in fertility, Ash obviously thinks he has stumbled upon the weirdest joke of a website ever.

However, as desperate as he is to get Vicky anything at all, he figures what can be the harm in clicking on and seeing what happens. But when the order gets surprisingly confirmed, Ash finds more than his voice cracking as he calls out the good news to his roommate watching football in the other room.

In seconds, everything is changing for Ash as he truly does become little more than Ashley, a cute brunette with increasingly unwanted thoughts as the changes start to take hold. Freaking out, wanting to undo a seriously twisted mistake, the only option seems to be a refund policy.

After convincing Bobby he is who she says she is, they study the site, and discover the troubles every buyer faces when dealing with Brain Drain The Refund Policy. There are plenty of companies offering all sorts of hot holiday deals, but rarely does any company screw you over in applying for a refund quite like this one does.

In the end, it might just be Bobby getting the roommate he always wanted this Christmas… even if Ashley is paying for it.


Find it on Smashwords now!


Now On Amazon!


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