The Dirty Mind by Kris P. Kreme
When bank manager Carl has to unexpectedly deal with an irate old woman in his bank, she curses him with The Dirty Mind. Claiming that his underlying dirty thoughts, being a man, will now sully those around him and wreak havoc on his entire world, Carl just thinks she’s a crazy old woman.
But after work at his best friend Brian’s house, watching a soccer game with their friend Eric, Carl soon discovers this curse is no joke.
Chloe, Brian’s daughter, has grown up, and she may grow even more thanks to Carl’s idle thoughts. They all may grow dirtier and dirtier in mind and body as the night goes on, and Carl may be helpless to stop whatever has been unleashed.
Carl is a worn and weary bank manager simply looking forward to the weekend, ready to leave work and head over to his oldest friend Brian’s house where the both of them along with their friend Eric will be having burgers and watching some soccer on the big screen. But Carl’s work isn’t quite over and the last bank patron he sees may send his mind twisting into an entirely different game this weekend.
Already half out the door, mind mostly turned off of the frustrations managing a bank brings, Carl isn’t at all happy to see his secretary at his door, especially when she says the bank’s oldest client demands to speak to him.
Having recently dealt with all new restrictions on loans, Carl is used to how upset people can get when they are turned down, and he just knows it’s probably another sweet old lady being automatically rejected for a loan she needs to help her family or something. But while she is definitely an old lady, this definitely isn’t anyone sweet, Agatha being so menacing looking, such a crooked nose, yellowed teeth, and evil glint in her cataracted eyes.
As he does his best to be the always friendly man he is, Carl can’t help but think that Agatha looks like some cartoon villain come to life. And true to her appearance, Agatha isn’t taking her loan rejection well at all. In her ranting angry reaction to nearly every excuse he tries to politely make, she ends up grabbing his hand and speaking a curse, claiming he is like all men, deep down such a dirty mind, and she is giving him the curse of The Dirty Mind.
Naturally Carl assumes she’s just a crazy old lady, more frightened of her grabbing his hand than any mumbled words and supposed curses about releasing his most ignored underlying dirty thoughts into those around him.
It isn’t until Carl arrives at his best friend Brian’s home, Brian and Eric already enjoying the soccer game on the big screen in his man cave, that Carl starts to find his thoughts easily wandering. And it all begins when Brian’s teenage daughter comes through on her way to watch the burgers on the grill.
At just eighteen, it’s been three years since Carl saw Chloe, and she has definitely grown up. But has she matured as much as Carl imagines, or could his dirty mind be messing with her curves as they seem a bit bigger shortly after he arrives? And when he tries to ask Eric about what he thinks of Chloe maturing so fast, is Eric’s mind becoming dirty as well? Just what is going on when even Brian doesn’t seem to care about Eric suddenly boldly asking how big his daughter’s tits are?
Carl is trying to rationalize, to dismiss the sordid talk as merely guys and the beer they are drinking, but something is definitely going on, and it’s about much more than merely talking, or expressing dirty thoughts out loud. What kind of game will Carl find himself playing against Eric, with Brian keeping score, after the soccer game ends? What sort of thoughts will somehow become real? And is anyone safe from The Dirty Mind?
Readers Choice Month reminds you to never ever upset an old gypsy woman… unless you’re not in your right mind or just want to embrace your dirty one?
Koming next… That film isn’t logical…
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