Oct 14 2014

Get some Jack on HalloKreme

Jack O'Lantern by Kris P. Kreme

Jack O’Lantern by Kris P. Kreme

Cursed by a devilish creature named Simon centuries ago, Jack became Jack O’Lantern, forever trapped within the indestructible form of a carved pumpkin.

As if that weren’t bad enough, he has to live with the fact that any pure virginal girl who glances into his flickering light will have the inescapable urge to defile that purity and do unspeakably naughty things.

Let this be a warning this Halloween. If you think carved pumpkins are harmless, you don’t know Jack.


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Jack has a story to share, a friendly warning for all those pure virginal girls who might find themselves at some point drawn to the flickering flame within a carved pumpkin around Halloween.

Some centuries ago a man named Jack fell in love with a beautiful farmer’s daughter named Victoria. She was the kind of girl in fairy tales, pure and pious. Her beauty was the things great works of art are created to honor and everything indicated that Jack’s fate and hers were forever intertwined.

Like most tales though, this one had a twist and Jack would like to explain how he became what he is today, why he still even exists so many endless years later to share his warning.

Just as she had his, Victoria attracted another man’s eye, though this man would turn out not to be any mere mortal. Simon is the foe that tore Jack’s world apart, that took his love and defiled her, then cursed Jack to forever live on in the carved pumpkin he now occupies.

Tortured by suffering the curse of crushed innocence on any girl that dares look into his flickering flames, Jack hates what he has to witness over the centuries.

He’s only sharing a short tale of the three pure church girls this Halloween who happened to be walking to Sunday School one morning and looked over to see him decorating a neighbor’s front porch. Katie, Megan, and Kenya will suffer much more than a crisis of faith, and all three will find their pure virtues a thing of the past, seeking to outdo each other in only the most perverse pleasured tasks available to them.

Be careful all young ladies who are good girls out there. You never know when the carved pumpkin which catches your eye might just be catching a whole lot more with merely a second glance.


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